Like a Fallen Rose
Sometimes I wish I could just control my emotions…

Sometimes I wish I could just control my emotions… Cause I mean, damn, you’re obviously going to be affected by my negative moods and the fact that I CAN’T say what’s on my mind to you makes things even worse…

I don’t tell you what’s on my mind not because I don’t trust you, I just don’t tell you because I don’t want to hurt you. We’ve talked about what’s on my mind many times in the past, and how did that turn out? It turned out, pretty ugly?

We both got hurt, and we both got emotional over things… I really don’t want that happening anymore…

It’s a New Year, I really should be letting go of the past. Holding onto the past is doing nothing but hurting me, and I really don’t want to be hurting anymore…

I just, I don’t know… I keep getting these mental images of him just doing you and it hurts a lot… I don’t know why.

He’s your past, and because he’s your past… it shouldn’t matter anymore… You’re with me now, and I’m the one you love and care about now… WHY CAN’T I FUCKING LET GO OF THE PAST?

You even told me that you never loved him, or even had feelings for him. Why can’t I just accept that and get over everything? I mean, you even make it clear to me that you DO want me, and that you DO want our relationship to last…

The past just needs to fuck off my mind… Seriously, it really does need to fuck off… (it really didn’t help though, when asshole tried to lay you just a month ago. FUCKING GUY HAS A GIRLFRIEND TOO AND HE KNOW’S YOU’RE TAKEN BY ME…)

I just wish all of these thoughts would end, or at least… get buried so deep within my mind that I can’t retrieve the thought anymore…

I’m tired of hurting, and I want to let go of what’s hurting me…

Just promise me. Promise me that you’ll never leave me, and that you’ll stay with me…

I know I’m not the easiest person to be with, and the easiest person to date… But I honestly, really do love you. I don’t want anyone or anything ever hurting you… I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend I can be to you, and I promise that I’ll try harder to let my scars fade, so that way… they can’t hurt you anymore…

With 2012 now started, I’m going to promise you that things will be better in our relationship…

P.S - I’m sorry about last night, and the night before… Just this thought was eating away at me… 

I just wanna scream so bad right now 






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(Source: ca-ifornia, via v-i-v-i-d-youth)